What you need to know if you're new to the queer dating scene

If you are new to the lesbian or bisexual dating scene, it can be quite overwhelming to find your place. Maybe you don’t know exactly how to profile yourself yet or you feel unsure of what to expect. The good news is that you’re not the only one, and there are many ways to find your way in this. This blog is written just for you, to help you boost your confidence and get the most out of your dating experience.

Embrace your identity, but don't feel pressure to know everything right away

Discovering your sexual orientation can be a process, and so is how you present yourself in the dating scene. It’s okay if you don’t know all the labels or don’t feel completely comfortable with your identity yet. You don’t have to be a super confident lesbian or bisexual woman to start dating. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grow in this.

Start small with online dating platforms

Online dating can be an excellent way to take your first steps into the queer community. Platforms aimed specifically at lesbian and bisexual women, such as Lisa loves Lois, offer a safe environment to experiment and meet people. You can start chatting before you decide to date, which lowers the pressure to go on dates right away. Be honest about your expectations. If you are looking for friendship or something casual, communicate this clearly. This will prevent misunderstandings and help you find like-minded people.

Get to know the culture but always remain yourself

Just like in any other community, the queer community has its own culture and unwritten rules. This can seem intimidating, especially if you feel like you don’t know the “etiquette” yet. Things like terms and subcultures (e.g., butch, femme, non-binary) can be overwhelming at first, but remember that you don’t have to know everything right away.
It’s important to stay authentic and know that you don’t have to conform to certain stereotypes to “belong.” The best thing you can do is stay true to yourself, whether you are super confident or just still exploring. People appreciate authenticity!

Maintain a healthy balance between boundaries and openness

Being new to the queer dating scene often means that you will have new experiences and meet new people. This can be exciting, but it’s also important to know your limits. Be open to new possibilities, but don’t feel obligated to try everything that comes your way. Always communicate clearly to the other person. Whether it’s physical boundaries, emotional expectations or your need for time to yourself, communication is key. People in the queer community are generally very conscious of consent and respect, so don’t be afraid to indicate what works or doesn’t work for you.

Boost your self-confidence

Dating in a new community can feel like entering unfamiliar territory. Give yourself time to become comfortable with the process. You may have some tense first dates or uncomfortable conversations, but that’s perfectly normal. The more experience you gain, the more confident you will become in connecting with others.

Be patient with love and yourself

It can be tempting to go for the perfect relationship right away, but love takes time. Especially if you’re just starting to date in the lesbian or bisexual community, it’s important not to put too much pressure on yourself. Finding a good match is a process, and along the way you’ll learn a lot about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner. Also, accept that dating is not always fun. Not every date will be a success, and that’s totally okay. Every experience brings you another step closer to what you’re really looking for.

Create a support network

Surround yourself with people who support and understand you. These can be friends who are also queer, or a broader LGBTQ+ community. Having a network can help you feel safe and confident while exploring.

Take your time and don't be afraid to make mistakes

Being new to a dating scene often means encountering some bumps along the way. You might say something uncomfortable, go on a date that doesn’t feel right, or unintentionally make a bad joke. This is all part of it. The important thing is that you learn and grow from each experience. It does not have to be perfect and from every date you take back a piece of knowledge about yourself and what exactly you are looking for in someone and what not. See it as a beautiful journey in which you discover yourself and get to know yourself better in the field of love and above all do not be in a hurry. The right person will cross your path!

How do you deal with rejection and disappointment while dating?

Dating can be exciting and fun, but it can also be difficult. Especially when you face rejection and disappointment. For lesbian and bisexual women, these emotions can sometimes be even more complex, due to previous experiences of rejection or the pressure of societal expectations. In this blog, we discuss how to deal with rejection in a healthy way while dating and how to maintain self-love even when things don’t go the way you had hoped.

Rejection says nothing about what you are worth as a person

Rejection is an inevitable part of the dating process. No matter how carefully and consciously you try to date, you will run into moments when your feelings are not reciprocated, or when the contact does not turn out as you had hoped. It is important to remember that rejection says nothing about your worth as a person! When someone does not want to continue dating you, it does not mean that you are not good enough. It often reflects that other person’s personal preferences or circumstances. Perhaps you were not at the same point in your life, or there was no chemistry. This does not mean you are lacking anything.

Embracing and letting go of disappointment

It can be tempting to take rejection personally and see it as confirmation of your insecurities. But in reality, rejection is often a matter of timing or a lack of mutual connection and has nothing to do with your worth. It is crucial to realize this and accept it so you don’t get caught up in self-criticism or insecurity. When you can look at the dating process from this perspective, you will find that rejection starts to bother you less and you can let go of this type of disappointment more easily. Disappointment after a date can be tough, especially if your expectations were high. Of course, it is also perfectly normal to feel sadness or frustration when things turn out differently than you had hoped. Allow yourself to just feel those emotions, let them be there. Don’t try to suppress them because this can lead to pent-up feelings and you will suffer from them later. Writing can be a good way to release your feelings. By putting your thoughts on paper, you create space to reflect on what happened, what went well and what you learned. It also helps put your disappointment in a larger perspective, helping you better understand that every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow and better understand what you are really looking for in a partner.

Self-love during dating

Self-love is essential during dating, especially when you face rejection and disappointment. It is important to make sure that you do not let your own life revolve entirely around finding a partner. Investing in yourself and continuing to spend time on the things you love will keep you close to yourself. Whether it’s your hobbies and interests, your circle of friends or spending time with family, these aspects of your life are just as valuable and contribute to your happiness. Living a fulfilling and satisfying life will keep your self-love strong, even when you run into struggles in the dating process. It is also important to set clear boundaries while dating. Be aware of how much emotional energy you put into a new relationship, and make sure you don’t give more than you receive. That way you avoid losing yourself in a relationship that ends up not being healthy or reciprocal. Self-love means taking good care of yourself, respecting your own boundaries and entering into relationships from a place of self-respect.

Make use of affirmations

Affirmations and talking positively about yourself and to yourself can also help boost your self-confidence. By regularly reminding yourself of your own value, you can prevent negative thoughts from taking over. It can be valuable to use simple affirmations such as “I am good enough” or “I deserve love and respect.” By making these types of affirmations part of your daily life, you strengthen your self-esteem and protect yourself from the negative impact of rejection. Good friends, family or a community are also important. Surround yourself with people who know your worth and support you, regardless of your dating experiences. Their love and affirmation help remind you that you are valuable, even if dating doesn’t turn into a fine relationship right away.

Try to think around negative thoughts

Rejection often creates emotions such as fear of loneliness or the feeling of not being good enough. Rethinking can help with this by replacing negative thoughts with positive and realistic perceptions. For example, if you find yourself thinking “I always get rejected,” try redirecting this thought to something that makes the situation less negative and personal such as “Rejection is a normal part of dating and it says nothing about my worth as a person.” Self-compassion is also very important in the dating process. By being kind and patient to yourself, as you would be to a good friend, you can better deal with the emotions you feel from rejection and disappointment. Mindfulness, in turn, can help you look at your emotions without drowning in them, allowing you to accept them without letting them define who you are.

Conclusion, rejection and disappointment has nothing to do with your unique value as a person!

Rejection and disappointment are part of the dating process, but they have nothing to do with your unique value as a person. By embracing yourself, taking good care of yourself and giving yourself what you need, you can remain resilient. Also continue to have faith in your own strength and value and remember that finding love is sometimes a path full of bumps, but every experience teaches you something and brings you closer to someone who sees and values you for who you really are. And after all, that is also what we can call true love. So be patient and don’t settle for less, and the right person will come along your love path!

Author: LLLadmin