What you need to know if you’re new to the queer dating scene

Posted on 17 February 20253 March 2025 by LLLadmin

What you need to know if you're new to the queer dating scene

If you are new to the lesbian or bisexual dating scene, it can be quite overwhelming to find your place. Maybe you don’t know exactly how to profile yourself yet or you feel unsure of what to expect. The good news is that you’re not the only one, and there are many ways to find your way in this. This blog is written just for you, to help you boost your confidence and get the most out of your dating experience.

Embrace your identity, but don't feel pressure to know everything right away

Discovering your sexual orientation can be a process, and so is how you present yourself in the dating scene. It’s okay if you don’t know all the labels or don’t feel completely comfortable with your identity yet. You don’t have to be a super confident lesbian or bisexual woman to start dating. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to grow in this.

Start small with online dating platforms

Online dating can be an excellent way to take your first steps into the queer community. Platforms aimed specifically at lesbian and bisexual women, such as Lisa loves Lois, offer a safe environment to experiment and meet people. You can start chatting before you decide to date, which lowers the pressure to go on dates right away. Be honest about your expectations. If you are looking for friendship or something casual, communicate this clearly. This will prevent misunderstandings and help you find like-minded people.

Get to know the culture but always remain yourself

Just like in any other community, the queer community has its own culture and unwritten rules. This can seem intimidating, especially if you feel like you don’t know the “etiquette” yet. Things like terms and subcultures (e.g., butch, femme, non-binary) can be overwhelming at first, but remember that you don’t have to know everything right away.
It’s important to stay authentic and know that you don’t have to conform to certain stereotypes to “belong.” The best thing you can do is stay true to yourself, whether you are super confident or just still exploring. People appreciate authenticity!

Maintain a healthy balance between boundaries and openness

Being new to the queer dating scene often means that you will have new experiences and meet new people. This can be exciting, but it’s also important to know your limits. Be open to new possibilities, but don’t feel obligated to try everything that comes your way. Always communicate clearly to the other person. Whether it’s physical boundaries, emotional expectations or your need for time to yourself, communication is key. People in the queer community are generally very conscious of consent and respect, so don’t be afraid to indicate what works or doesn’t work for you.

Boost your self-confidence

Dating in a new community can feel like entering unfamiliar territory. Give yourself time to become comfortable with the process. You may have some tense first dates or uncomfortable conversations, but that’s perfectly normal. The more experience you gain, the more confident you will become in connecting with others.

Be patient with love and yourself

It can be tempting to go for the perfect relationship right away, but love takes time. Especially if you’re just starting to date in the lesbian or bisexual community, it’s important not to put too much pressure on yourself. Finding a good match is a process, and along the way you’ll learn a lot about yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner. Also, accept that dating is not always fun. Not every date will be a success, and that’s totally okay. Every experience brings you another step closer to what you’re really looking for.

Create a support network

Surround yourself with people who support and understand you. These can be friends who are also queer, or a broader LGBTQ+ community. Having a network can help you feel safe and confident while exploring.

Take your time and don't be afraid to make mistakes

Being new to a dating scene often means encountering some bumps along the way. You might say something uncomfortable, go on a date that doesn’t feel right, or unintentionally make a bad joke. This is all part of it. The important thing is that you learn and grow from each experience. It does not have to be perfect and from every date you take back a piece of knowledge about yourself and what exactly you are looking for in someone and what not. See it as a beautiful journey in which you discover yourself and get to know yourself better in the field of love and above all do not be in a hurry. The right person will cross your path!

Understanding bisexuality better: myths and misconceptions debunked!

Posted on 12 February 20253 March 2025 by admin

Understanding bisexuality better: myths and misconceptions debunked!

Bisexuality is one of the most misunderstood sexual orientations within the LGBTQ+ community and beyond. Unfortunately, there are many myths and misconceptions that often lead to stereotyping and stigmatization of bisexual people. In this blog, we want to discuss some of the most common misconceptions and debunk them so that we can develop a better understanding of bisexuality and create a more inclusive community.

Myth 1: Bisexuals are “confused” or don't know what they want

A common misconception is that bisexuals have not yet “chosen” or are confused about their sexuality. This assumption stems from black-and-white thinking in which people believe that a person must be either gay or straight. In reality, bisexuality is a legitimate sexual orientation in which a person can be attracted to more than one gender. It has nothing to do with confusion, but everything to do with the versatility of human sexuality.

Myth 2: Bisexuality is just a phase

Many bisexuals face the idea that their feelings are temporary and that they will eventually “choose” a homosexual or heterosexual relationship. This idea undermines the validity of bisexual feelings and relationships. For many, bisexuality is not an intermediate stop on the road to a final identity or orientation, but an enduring and authentic sexual orientation.

Myth 3: Bisexuals are promiscuous or always need more sex

One of the most damaging stereotypes about bisexuality is that bisexuals are constantly seeking multiple sexual partners or cannot maintain a monogamous relationship. This is simply not true. Bisexuals, like gays and straights, have diverse preferences and desires when it comes to relationships and sexuality. Some prefer monogamy, others do not, just as with gays and straights.

Myth 4: Bisexuality disappears in a permanent relationship

When a bisexual person enters a relationship, it is often assumed that they automatically “lose” their bisexuality and become completely straight or gay, depending on the gender of their partner. However, this idea misses the essential fact that bisexuality is an attraction that persists regardless of the relationship a person is in. A bisexual person in a monogamous relationship remains bisexual even if they only have one partner at the time.

Myth 5: Bisexuals have it easier because they can “pass” for straight

It is sometimes claimed that bisexuals have an “advantage” over homosexuals because they can “pass” as straight. While some bisexuals may be less visible in society, this does not mean that they do not experience discrimination. In fact, bisexuals often face prejudice from both the heterosexual and homosexual communities, a phenomenon known as “bi-erasure” (the erasure of bisexuality). This often makes their experiences difficult and can lead to feelings of inequality.

Myth 6: Bisexuals are just straight or gay, depending on their partner

This assumption stems from the idea that a person’s attraction is entirely determined by the relationship they are in. However, bisexuals can be attracted to multiple genders regardless of who they are currently in a relationship with. Their sexual identity does not change with each new partner. This misconception can cause much misunderstanding and frustration within relationships, especially if the partner does not fully acknowledge or understand the bisexual identity.

Myth 7: Bisexuality is rare

Although it may seem like bisexuality is less common, research shows that bisexuality is actually one of the most common sexual orientations within the LGBTQ+ community. Many people identify as bisexual, but because of the aforementioned stigmas and misconceptions, some people do not feel comfortable sharing it openly. Recognizing bisexuality as a common and legitimate identity can help increase visibility and acceptance.

The importance of understanding and visibility

Bisexuality is a diverse and rich array of feelings and desires. It is important to dispel the stereotypes and misconceptions surrounding bisexuality so that bisexuals feel seen and supported. By breaking these myths, we can create a society where all sexual orientations are accepted and respected.

Whether you are bisexual yourself or know someone who is, acknowledging and understanding this identity can help build stronger, more empathetic relationships. Bisexuality is not a phase, not a confusion, and certainly not a stereotype. It is an authentic and legitimate way of being that deserves as much respect and acceptance as any other sexual orientation.

Let’s give every space for bisexuality to flourish, free of prejudice, so that together we can build an inclusive community with mutual acceptance!

How do you deal with rejection and disappointment while dating?

Posted on 16 December 202423 December 2024 by LLLadmin

How do you deal with rejection and disappointment while dating?

Dating can be exciting and fun, but it can also be difficult. Especially when you face rejection and disappointment. For lesbian and bisexual women, these emotions can sometimes be even more complex, due to previous experiences of rejection or the pressure of societal expectations. In this blog, we discuss how to deal with rejection in a healthy way while dating and how to maintain self-love even when things don’t go the way you had hoped.

Rejection says nothing about what you are worth as a person

Rejection is an inevitable part of the dating process. No matter how carefully and consciously you try to date, you will run into moments when your feelings are not reciprocated, or when the contact does not turn out as you had hoped. It is important to remember that rejection says nothing about your worth as a person! When someone does not want to continue dating you, it does not mean that you are not good enough. It often reflects that other person’s personal preferences or circumstances. Perhaps you were not at the same point in your life, or there was no chemistry. This does not mean you are lacking anything.

Embracing and letting go of disappointment

It can be tempting to take rejection personally and see it as confirmation of your insecurities. But in reality, rejection is often a matter of timing or a lack of mutual connection and has nothing to do with your worth. It is crucial to realize this and accept it so you don’t get caught up in self-criticism or insecurity. When you can look at the dating process from this perspective, you will find that rejection starts to bother you less and you can let go of this type of disappointment more easily. Disappointment after a date can be tough, especially if your expectations were high. Of course, it is also perfectly normal to feel sadness or frustration when things turn out differently than you had hoped. Allow yourself to just feel those emotions, let them be there. Don’t try to suppress them because this can lead to pent-up feelings and you will suffer from them later. Writing can be a good way to release your feelings. By putting your thoughts on paper, you create space to reflect on what happened, what went well and what you learned. It also helps put your disappointment in a larger perspective, helping you better understand that every experience is an opportunity to learn and grow and better understand what you are really looking for in a partner.

Self-love during dating

Self-love is essential during dating, especially when you face rejection and disappointment. It is important to make sure that you do not let your own life revolve entirely around finding a partner. Investing in yourself and continuing to spend time on the things you love will keep you close to yourself. Whether it’s your hobbies and interests, your circle of friends or spending time with family, these aspects of your life are just as valuable and contribute to your happiness. Living a fulfilling and satisfying life will keep your self-love strong, even when you run into struggles in the dating process. It is also important to set clear boundaries while dating. Be aware of how much emotional energy you put into a new relationship, and make sure you don’t give more than you receive. That way you avoid losing yourself in a relationship that ends up not being healthy or reciprocal. Self-love means taking good care of yourself, respecting your own boundaries and entering into relationships from a place of self-respect.

Make use of affirmations

Affirmations and talking positively about yourself and to yourself can also help boost your self-confidence. By regularly reminding yourself of your own value, you can prevent negative thoughts from taking over. It can be valuable to use simple affirmations such as “I am good enough” or “I deserve love and respect.” By making these types of affirmations part of your daily life, you strengthen your self-esteem and protect yourself from the negative impact of rejection. Good friends, family or a community are also important. Surround yourself with people who know your worth and support you, regardless of your dating experiences. Their love and affirmation help remind you that you are valuable, even if dating doesn’t turn into a fine relationship right away.

Try to think around negative thoughts

Rejection often creates emotions such as fear of loneliness or the feeling of not being good enough. Rethinking can help with this by replacing negative thoughts with positive and realistic perceptions. For example, if you find yourself thinking “I always get rejected,” try redirecting this thought to something that makes the situation less negative and personal such as “Rejection is a normal part of dating and it says nothing about my worth as a person.” Self-compassion is also very important in the dating process. By being kind and patient to yourself, as you would be to a good friend, you can better deal with the emotions you feel from rejection and disappointment. Mindfulness, in turn, can help you look at your emotions without drowning in them, allowing you to accept them without letting them define who you are.

Conclusion, rejection and disappointment has nothing to do with your unique value as a person!

Rejection and disappointment are part of the dating process, but they have nothing to do with your unique value as a person. By embracing yourself, taking good care of yourself and giving yourself what you need, you can remain resilient. Also continue to have faith in your own strength and value and remember that finding love is sometimes a path full of bumps, but every experience teaches you something and brings you closer to someone who sees and values you for who you really are. And after all, that is also what we can call true love. So be patient and don’t settle for less, and the right person will come along your love path!

Dating as an introvert, here’s how to keep it fun and relaxed!

Posted on 14 December 202423 December 2024 by admin

Dating as an introvert, here's how to keep it fun and relaxed!

Online dating can be challenging for anyone, but for introverts, the barrier can be extra high. Introverts draw energy from spending time alone and often need time to get to know new people. For lesbian and bisexual women who are introverts, the idea of meeting new women can be extra exciting or even a bit stressful. But online dating also offers unique benefits for introverted women looking for a meaningful relationship or exciting date. In this blog, we’ll give you tips on how you, as an introvert, can make sure that dating is not only fun but, more importantly, relaxed!

Choose a dating site that suits you

It is important to choose a dating site where you feel comfortable. Dating sites that cater to lesbian and bisexual women, like ours, offer a safe environment to date without worrying about your sexuality. You can also set filters and preferences to better match potential matches to what you’re looking for, without being overwhelmed by an overload of choices in terms of profiles.

Make sure you know what you're looking for

Before you start swiping or searching profiles, it’s helpful to think about exactly what you’re looking for in a partner and relationship. What kind of person would make you happy? By answering these questions, not only will you gain more insight into yourself, but you can also search more purposefully for someone who is a good fit for you.

When you start chatting

Introverts prefer to choose in-depth conversations over superficial small talk. Online dating gives you the space to communicate first through messages, such as chat. This is ideal if you are uncomfortable with face-to-face encounters. Start with simple topics, such as hobbies or interests, and let the conversation flow naturally that way. Once you feel comfortable, you can slowly show more of yourself.

Open up and be yourself

Introverts are good at being in their own bubble, but during a date it is actually important to open up to the other person. Of course, you don’t have to share everything on the first date, but do show who you are. Be yourself! For example, write in your profile that you are introverted and prefer to start quietly in conversations and encounters. This helps manage expectations and also immediately attracts the right people who understand and respect this and who may even recognize themselves in this.

Plan calm and relaxed dates

When you are ready to meet someone in real life, try to plan a date that suits your introverted nature. Instead of crowded bars or noisy events, suggest taking a quiet walk, having coffee at a cozy cafe, or visiting a museum together. There are generally less stimuli in these types of environments, making it easier to have a deep conversation and really connect with your date. Also consider the time of day you plan your date. Generally, a weekday is a lot quieter than the weekend. And meeting in the morning or afternoon is also often quieter than the evening.

Don't overstep your bounds

Online dating can sometimes be overwhelming, especially if you’re introverted and not used to constant social interaction. It’s okay to set boundaries and take regular breaks. Don’t force yourself to be online constantly or keep conversations going all the time. Also, give yourself space to recharge and make sure you only go on dates when you have the energy for it.

Accept your own pace

It’s tempting to compare yourself to others who may seem to move faster in dating or meet new people much more easily, but always remember that everyone has their own pace. As an introvert, it’s important to respect your own boundaries and give yourself time to get to know someone. You really don’t have to hurry, the right person will accept you as you are, including the time you need to build rapport.

In short..

Online dating offers introverted women the chance to meet new people at their own pace and quietly build relationships. By staying close to yourself, setting boundaries and giving yourself space to date in your own way, you will find that your search for an exciting date or serious relationship becomes a success and you can actually enjoy it. Because dating should of course be fun and relaxed!

I am a women who likes women but nobody knows!

Posted on 11 December 202416 December 2024 by admin

I am a women who likes women but nobody knows! How and when should I come out?

You are a lesbian or bisexual and haven’t had your coming out yet. How do you go about that? Coming out is an important but exciting moment. For many it is a big step, it requires you to fully accept your true self and share that part of you with others. In this blog we give you tips on how to do this in a safe and pleasant way and how to prepare yourself for this.

First make sure you accept yourself completely

Before you tell others who you are, it is important that you are comfortable with your identity. This may take time, and of course that’s totally okay. It helps to talk about it with like-minded women who are also struggling with this or to read stories of other women who have already had their coming out. Websites, books, blogs (like this one 😀 ) and online communities can get you started.

Choose a good moment

Coming out is not a race against time. Pick a time when you are really ready, fully committed to sharing this and do it in a safe environment. After you come out, make sure you have the time and space to process the reactions if necessary. It’s a good idea to start with one or two trusted friends or family members before telling a larger group.

Prepare for different reactions

Everyone will react in his or her own way. Some people will be enthusiastic; others may need time to get used to the idea. It is important to be patient and remember that their reactions are usually about them and not you. Give people space to ask questions and when answering them, always remain yourself. So stick to your own feelings and don’t get caught up in it when someone reacts a little negatively. This is who you are, you have now gathered the courage to bring it out and you really may stay with your authentic self.

Seek support from like-minded people

It can help tremendously to connect with other lesbian and bisexual women. Online platforms, our dating platform, LGBTQ+ organizations and even groups of friends can help you feel stronger in this process. Share your own story and listen to the experiences of others. These communities can be a source of support and inspiration and strength.

Make it clear that this is your authentic self

When you come out, you may feel vulnerable. Very logical, because you are making yourself vulnerable. Remind yourself that this is a way to express your authentic self. It’s not just about your sexual orientation, but the full picture of who you are as a whole. Show people that this is part of your identity and that this is who you are.

Take care of yourself

Coming out can be quite demanding of you emotionally, especially if the reactions are not always positive. Therefore, take good care of yourself. Talk to a trusted friend, seek professional help if you need it, and take time to recover from stressful moments. In this, give yourself plenty of room to process what is happening and be proud of the steps you are taking!

Be proud of yourself

Coming out is a courageous step! It also takes strength to stay true to who you are and to share it with those around you. Regardless of how others react, remind yourself that this is your life and you have the right to live it on your own terms and with whom you want. Even when it comes to love.

The process of coming out is different for everyone, and of course there is no right or wrong. What is very important is that you do what feels right for you and seek support from people who care about you and accept you as you are. We hope these tips can help you go through this process with confidence and love, you can do it and you are not alone!

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